The H word

I have a problem saying the H word.  I've been married to T for 10 months and I still don't say it.  Sometimes I refer to T as my boyfriend.  It's not that I'm ashamed to be married to him - quite the opposite, marrying T was my best decision ever!- it's just that the H word implies a certain amount of "grown-upness" that I just don't have.  I'm not old enough to have an H word, am I?  I couldn't call T my F word while we were engaged either.  It just seems weird.  I know some girls get all excited that they get say the F or H word as soon as they acquire one, but really, it was / is just too weird for me.

I kinda feel like getting married was my induction to the real world.  Yes, I had lived outside of my parent's home and had a job and paid all my own expenses before I married T, but actually getting married was such a grown-up thing to do.  And I still don't feel grown up!  I feel 17!

So maybe my problem is not the H word.  Maybe, my actual problem is this "growing up" business and that problem is manifested by avoiding the H word.

Does anyone else have trouble saying the H word or growing up?


When we walk past our car parked on the street I always wave and say, "Hi, The Car!"  (P.S. Street parking anywhere in Southern California = ggrrrrrr.)  Two days ago I waved to T inside the apartment and said, "Hi, The Husband!" just like I say "Hi, The Car!"  It was strange.